http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi Latest Update from Diary of Fatherhood en-us Copyright 2005 Webmaster. All Rights Reserved. http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1188035405 http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1145793627 Its been a couple of weeks now since my last post. Ellie is giving me a gentle reminder, crying in the background... but she ain't getting up, she is at the end of her first sleep cycle for the night and it wont take long to settle back down. Ellie is more beautiful and precious than ever. She is making many more conscious responses to stimuli. Her giggle is infectious Her crawling is going ok although she still tends to squirm around the floor rather than use the full arms and legs motion. Actually, she could be a bit of a slow learner... I mean I was going to hop onto the net the other night when she grabbed hold of her bottle and started feeding herself. I thought, Wow..! But then as she started poking the bottle into her forehead, her cheek, nose, chin...everywhere other than her mouth, I thought, 'mmm, perhaps not... perhaps ... http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1144495851 I’m usually pretty chuffed when I read on Ellie’s ‘Daily Report Card’ from Day Care that she has done ‘2 wet’ and ‘1 soiled’ Nappy , cause’ that’s one less soiled I have to change… Did you know that 6 month old Babies choke on French Toast…I found out this morning? Lesson Learnt And if its not French Toast that she is choking on, it is a Tin of Steak & Vegetables that she is screwing up her face at, lips closed tightly with a very clear 'NO WAY' look on her face, and I have to agree…that stuff is terribly tasteless and looks worst than what I can cook. Onto her looks… I’m convinced Ellie is now moving into her ‘Golem’ stage, and by this I mean that gawky, bug eyed creature from the series 'Lord of the Rings'. I already accept she is going ... http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1143982597 Ellie seems to have grown a couple of months in the space of this past week. Just a lot of little things... She's heavier to carry around thats for sure. And now when you hold her to feed her she arches her back and turns and twists, just because she can... She smiles all the time and her laughter is something you haven't heard for so long. When you get up around 5am to settle her she'll be up doing pressups down the wrong end of the cot. And when it is time to get up out of the cot she holds her arms up... she knows, she understands. And there is one other thing. Sitting on the kitchen bench today she for whatever reason felt the need to hang on to me (usually she is happy to sit and play with keys and stuff whilst you guardedly hold the back of her jump suit). It was that gentle clutching that left a singularly warm ... http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1143374543 A week is a long time in baby terms. It is time enough for Ellie to graduate from 'scooching' to crawling (well so close it doesn't matter). And apart from becoming more physically dexterous she really is getting to know and like the sound of her own voice. When she cries she can quite easily slip into this self indulgent mode... where the reason for the crying becomes secondary. She just works herself into a frenzy totally impressed with the range and level of noise that she can produce. The fact that she can easily be snapped out of it with a quick tickle of the ribs kind of gives the game away! And just for the record - this week she taught herself how to roll over, and back again. Not a major achievement perhaps but for Ellie, you can tell by the look of surprise (and achievement) on her face, she's pretty impressed - and so's ... http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1142759700 There are so many 'turning points' in the development of your child. Ellie is only six and a bit months and there have been many... But in the last few days we have recognised in Ellie the ability to actually know her mum and dad for things other than being providers of food. When one of us leave a room you get the, '...whats going on!?!' look. And when you return there is this brightening in her eyes and a widening grin that lights up her face. I'd like to say that she had moved on to crawling from 'scooching' but she is still quite content to squirm around the floor mimicking the crawl motion and as yet not quite nailing the technique. But this week could be the one. http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1142157032 Well its official, we have a 'gifted' child. Its a reasonable conclusion given at the tender age of just six months she is already 'scooching'. And for the uneducated the term, 'scooching' refers to the pre-crawl motion of raising the bum and pushing forward with the knees. It would be fair to say that not all who reach the dizzy heights of scooching @ six months go on to be academic or sporting wonder kids, but she's a pretty good indicator of things to come... We are finding the impact of sleep on Ellies behaviour. Although she fights to stay up and be tended to, if she does not have at least one decent sleep in the afternoon she becomes a bit teary the rest of the day/night. http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1141557385 Thats the thing, I think a lot of people don't realise just how on top of things you've got to be as a parent. Why just the other day I had to have a quiet word with one of the boys at day care. Now admittedly he seems a nice young bloke, and at six years old his endearment with Ellie seems rather sweet. He's always the one keeping an eye on her, making funny noises and faces to make her laugh... But yesterday I overhead his mum saying to him, "...yes I know Lachie but she's only six months old and she can't come for a 'sleep over' until she is at least five years old" "Five years...!!!??" screamed Lachlan I pulled him aside afterward and advised him, "...and even then your grades'll have to be up to scratch!!" http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1141125226 Ellie is about five and a half months now and there is something different about her. She has reached that magical point where there is more than just instinctive behaviour... You can see the conscious thought process. She can sit without falling over, (that requires a lot of conscious effort when you're that small and unco-ordinated!), she recognises you amongst others with a little more commitment, a jar of banana and pear is now seen as something extra special worth grabbing at as opposed to just any item of food... These are all small things but combined with a knowing engaging look, it is the most exciting rewarding time http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1140698364 Ellie, per chance you ever read this diary I figure that you might want to know just how your mum and dad were getting on with all of this... I mean I gotta tell ya, you're a bit of a handful at times. Actually, touch wood, you've been pretty good and although the first month or so we kinda wondered what had hit us I reckon right now we're doing OK. More than OK, we love every waking and sleeping moment of your company. Its hard to say how we rank or fare in terms of parenting but if enjoyment is any sort of indicator then we're doing alright. I make these observations cos today made me think - we've lost a lot of independence since you've come along. There's no two ways about it, there's a lot of things we can't do, can't even consider... But of the many things that you have brought us, you're teaching me the one thing I could http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1140343157 She's tough - Ellie has bounced back from her little bout of 'mini flu'. And in so doing she has made another small step for a little girl... she managed to roll over onto her tummy this afternoon (from being laid on her back). Now I'm not quite sure why this particular movement is so significant but I am assured that it is the portend of much greater things to come. By all accounts the back to tummy roll is the signal for the much awaited crawling action - just around the corner apparently... Ellie has been giving us a lot of joy lately amidst all the sniffles and coughing. She abounds in smiles at the smallest little prompt. Even when we take her out shopping she will turn on a smile at any/everyone she meets. I wonder how do we get her to hold on to that unabashed Joi d'Vie..? http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1140089175 Let it be known that at the age of five and a bit months, kids really start to develop a personality. For Ellie it seems that she really enjoys being around people (she gets a bit upset at day care if she is not placed with all the rest of the kids - which means she has to go outside and play although strictly speaking she is too young to be allowed outside...) But as much as she enjoys the fun and attention offered by the other kids she also shows the discomfort of being around too much disruption and noise - particularly if one of the other children is crying... She's a bit of a softie in that way but I can't pick on her tonight - she is quite sick. All stuffed up with a blocked nose, phlemy chest and an infection in her left eye. I know it is stating the obvious but your child is never more precious than when they are so ... http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1139821001 So how do babies percieve us..? I ask that question in relation to the way they provide instant response to tickles, giggles and 'funny behaviour'. If you're looking for an instant (favourable) response then a funny voice and a 'raspberry' on the belly will get just that.. and so it kinda encourages you to provide that instant gratification (both ways) So, if you just interact in a more sedate 'adult' manner, does bub still recieve the same positive message, ie one of love and caring? Is her senses only developed at this stage sufficient to recognise/respond to basic overt behaviour? I don't know the answer but I'm more inclined toward trusting that bub will 'feel' who you are and what you're about no matter what.. I hope so cos I certainly feel more comfortable having Ellie work things out (like how I feel), for ... http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1139573023 Things were going well in moving Ellie from an all-milk diet to on balanced with solids... From the first time we opened a baby jar of 'Pear & Banana Puree' Ellie was into it. Soon after, whenever Ellie spied the jar coming her way her face would light up and a big smile break open. And then the whole routine was shortened to; head back, lips pursed and open...' give me the good stuff..!!' That was until we introduced the orange stuff... Vegetables!! The first taste of vegetable puree saw an instant reaction - the mouth was zipped closed! 'No way am I having that $%##!!' Jay thought she'd overcome it with substituting the commercial version with a homemade brew of pumpkin puree. But Noooo...!! She's a girl after my own heart... Say NO to vegies.. http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1139269013 Now perhaps this forum, which is essentially devoted to you Ellie, is not the right place to plonk random thoughts down about general stuff... But you coming along has made me even more aware of the silliness that pervades us in the world today. Last night I watched the news to see all these irate muslims burning flags and buildings in response to a derogatory caricature of Mohammad recently published in various newspapers. I am at a loss.... You will be your own person Ellie. But if I can pass one thing only on to you it would be to have an understanding of others, to be very wary about getting angry with people and to understand the senselessness of violence. Thats all http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1139046296 A couple of subtle changes with Ellie over the last couple of days. She has been very clinggy, that is to say, wants to be picked up all the time, have a snuggle, then a whinge.. not quite sure what she wants. I suspect that her time in Day Care has provided her with a lot of attention and she is responding accordingly. But also, and whether it is linked I'm not sure, she has not been a happy chappy lately. Her attention span seems limited whether that be her entertaining herself or one of us providing the stimulus, peace and quiet doesn't last long...Thank god Jay has got the energy to keep up. http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1138873904 I'm not sure whether Ellies rapidly evolving 'personality' is a direct result of her time spent at child care or not but, whatever the case she is racing away.... She now sleeps thru from 7.30pm til around 6am. She wakes up giggling and gurgling away. You can't keep the smiles from her face.. She goes over to child care, greets Julie with a huge smile (every morning) and then drops her bottom lip and cries as soon as she realises she's being 'dumped'. That lasts all of ten seconds until she is quickly introduced to all the other children there - all of a sudden Mum and Dad are yesterdays news. Still hasn't quite mastered the art of crawling, but she can stick her tongue out, close her lips and 'splutter' on demand (something we've been working on). Just wish there were more hours in the day to enjoy her. http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1138702887 There have been more photos taken of Ellie than the late Princess Di. And yet very few (none of recent times) have found their way onto the web page. In short I need to get my stuff together... and I will. I just need to remember how to do it... I appreciate that Ellie's growth and development can not mean a lot to anyone else other than her parents, but it is just so remarkable to experience her subtle growth patterns that they need to be visually recorded. I'm on it! http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1138535051 So five months and still not crawling.. but certainly not from the want of trying. Ellie spends most of her waking hours trying to master the art of independent movement, whether that be rolling onto her stomach and practising the crawling motion or moving in reverse in her baby walker. You can read too much into her antics at such an early stage but she is showing all the signs of an outward going person, someone who wants to be involved... She just has these wide alert eyes that demand attention. Too early to tell, but fun working it all out... http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1138361306 Nothing much to report today as Ellie has been a 'perfect baby'. Its a little scary, you can't help but think, ' is this the calm before the storm..?' I know you shouldn’t think that but… Certainly any and everyone that has met her on the island has been endeared with her… well except one young mother whom I approached the other day. She came into the office with her child whom she placed down on the floor. I looked down at the little girl and observed, ‘…about four months is she…? We have a little girl ourselves about the same size and age…’ ‘Helena is going on fourteen months thankyou..!! ….she’s just small for her age…’ Given my faux pas of not recognizing Ellie at the maternity hospital I should’ve known better than to comment on someone elses baby… http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1138168060 We figured that we would expose Ellie to a couple of days a week @ child care. This gives Jay the opportunity to do some part-time work but more importantly gives Ellie interaction with other children/adults. But its a strange feeling... picking her up today (her second day) she was once again found to be more than happy nestled in someone else's arms. Her carer told us just how happy she was to be fussed over by the other kids (they're older than Ellie so she becomes the 'baby' of the group). I mean, this is all good - this is the interaction that we reckoned was needed for her development... but there is something to be said for babies relying on you (and you alone). Something to be said for being the focal point...for them to be singularly reliant on you (and Mum) Enough ramblings for now from a slightly insecure Dad. http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1138147960 There is a subconcious belief that when you leave your little girl at the child care centre for the first time, you will return to find her frazzled and upset. You will have to soothe and comfort her and reassure her that Daddy is here, everything is going to be OK… So when you rock up with this picture in the back of your mind, you’re mildly disappointed to find her nestled in the arms of one of the carers, happy and giggling away. There’s a vague recognition in her eyes as she realizes that you’re crouched in front of her waiting for the big response….but no, you’re only Dad after all. Right now there are more important stimuli. Dads are obviously expendable….(!) http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1138018047 OK... there was no contest. As I recall it was about 12.30am that Ellie packed a paddy.. I awoke from a deep (and rare) slumber... nudged Jay who sprang into action. I begrudgingly followed about two minutes later, peered over Jays shoulder as she was rocking Ellie back to sleep..."...so you reckon we should take her back into our room...??" It is difficult to describe the 'keystone cops' scenario that consequently unfolded as we mucked around with Ellie's portacot in the dark... maintaining some semblance of calm and balance for Ellie whilst swearing and cursing the inoperable instructions of dis-assembling the bloody thing... Inexplicably, Ellie slumbered throughout the operation... leaving Jay and I perplexed as to how such an inept display could be accepted with such sublime contentment... It was embarassing, but only http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1137896733 Not happy Jan... you've really upset Mum this time. Jay has moved Ellie's cot into the adjacent room. Thats what happens when you keep stirring every hour and Mum and Dad are trying to sleep!! Ellie is getting more interactive by the day. And interestingly, demanding of our company more so than ever. She will only tolerate a few minutes lying on the floor playing with toys before she realises she has been dumped and left to fend for her self..and right on cue starts up a racket! Shifted into a 'new' house yesterday - as new as you get on this island. All the houses are of the same age (about 20yrs old) and same Queensland style design/construction. Not that Ellie really understands or cares - however, I'm pickin she'll notice the demotion from Mum & Dad's room to the guest quarters and wouldn't want to be placing a bet on who'... http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1137659938 Just a quick touch base Ellie to say that I haven't forgotten you.. In fact I love you. You and your Mum are doing a great job. Thankyou for putting up with my long work hours over the last couple of days. Hopefully back to some normality by this weekend... Love Dad http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1137484252 A minor oversight... We have kept rigidly to Ellies sleeping/feeding schedule given that we have enjoyed some measure of success. Of course what we hadn't factored in was her enormous growth rate. A 180ml feed (in one sitting) a month ago was a big event and so, since then we have accepted that as the benchmark. And we have stuck with the discipline of feeding as/when she gets up with no more feeds until she has completed her next sleep cycle. But in the last couple of days since she has exhibited unrest after only 40 mins sleep, we figured something might be wrong... And of course, although 180ml remains as a fairly big feed (she's hard pressed to go beyond that in one sitting), we rather sheepishly came to the earth shattering conclusion that we needed to factor a couple more feeds into her routine to cater for her ever-... http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1137396513 One of the wonderful things about modern day communication Ellie is the language of 'Email'. It's not enough that you will have to grasp the rudiments of the English language - reading, writing and speaking - but to get on in the business world you will need at least a certificate qualification in, The Art Of Email. Essentially, you will learn the subtle skill of firing long range poisenous darts under the cover of your electronic mail address. And of course you will also develop the resilience to take a few direct hits yourself without responding in anger.. but in the cleverly disguised language of email innuendo. But who is to say that you don't have the nouse to see the silliness of all of this. If I can't justify it all to myself, I struggle to see how I will be able to justify it to you. http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1137304013 Routine, version #11 is under a bit of stress and strain.. I think the culprit is the portacot… Her regular cot has not arrived as yet and she is finding it difficult to settle longer than a couple of sleep cycles at a time. Kinda makes for a long night.. But all this disruption hasn’t slowed her learning. Now this may appear as hardly worth noting but in the scheme of things, her latest trick is quite significant. She has learnt the sensation of ‘push n’ pull’ with her hands. She will grasp her bottle (as well as she can) and push it away, and then with a smug look of achievement pull it back to her mouth. Not that she will drink from it… no, the push pull movement starts all over again. As adults we seldom recognize our own learning processes, we just subconsciously acknowledge that we acquire new ... http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1137206501 Its hot and humid, sticky, wet, its the tropics... And so far so good. Ellie has settled in well to her new environs. Has found a new friend in Freddy who is a rather oversized frog living in our toilet. Whilst it fightened the living bejeezus out of Mum, Ellie gleefully accepts Freddy as a new colourful toy - albeit one that keeps on disappearing on her. We're off to the pool this afternoon to see if these new Huggie swimmers really do work. ie keep both number 'ones' and 'twos' locked in tight... Its a slower pace of life here, (so far)... you could get to likin it.. http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1137124992 A bit fatter, longer hair, just as grizzly, and just a little bit spunkier than when I left you (ten days ago). You'll be pleased to know Ellie that there will be no more flying for you, well not for seven and a half years. No, courtesy of a petition put together by the qantas passengers on flight QA407 Perth-Darwin, both you and your mother have been banned from any/all flights until you are eight years old. Thats OK, you can go as deck cargo on the weekly supply barge when next we head back to the mainland. One trick you've learnt in this time is how to 'walk' in your new mobile walkie thingmabob. The forward motion technique as yet alludes you but you have 'reverse' sussed... Its great to be back together again http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1137124706 A bit fatter, longer hair, just as grizzly, and just a little bit spunkier than when I left you (ten days ago). You'll be pleased to know Ellie that there will be no more flying for you, well not for seven and a half years. No, courtesy of a petition put together by the qantas passengers on flight QA407 Perth-Darwin, both you and your mother have been banned from any/all flights until you are eight years old. Thats OK, you can go as deck cargo on the weekly supply barge when next we head back to the mainland. One trick you've learnt in this time is how to 'walk' in your new mobile walkie thingmabob. The forward motion technique as yet alludes you but you have 'reverse' sussed... Its great to be back together again http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1136897000 You slept like a baby on the way down (after playing up merry hell in the departure lounge!). But you were pretty grizzly around at Auntie Heidi's so perhaps your ears are a bit sore from all that flying. There is not a lot that can be done... tomorrow is even a bigger day of flying: Perth-Darwin-Groote. I can't say, "toughen up" cos that is big travelling for anyone, let alone a little'n like you. Hang in there Ellie, we'll have you back in a routine before you know it. You can blame me for all this short term suffering, so long as you don't hold the grudge for too long... http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1136809017 Alright, time to toughen up! You've got a big couple of days in front of you. Now this is the plan... Tonight you go to bed and sleep thru till say, 3.30am and have a quick feed. That should take you thru til 7am. You can have another feed then play and then by the time you hop on the plane @ 9am, laced with a bit of baby panadol, you should be right for the big plane trip back to Perth. A day and peaceful night at Auntie Heidi's and then on Wednesday the big flight up to Darwin, a few hours stopover and then onto Groote... Now its a simple plan and I know that I have glossed over a few of the challenges for you and Mum.. But just give it your best shot, I so much want to see you smiling when you get off that plane on Wednesday night. And the thing is... if you're not smiling, neither will Mum be.. http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1136635171 Its funny how you seem to be surrounded by babies everywhere you go when you have a baby of your own. Certainly around here we have a few. Most of them sitting on the hips of their indigenous mothers, fast asleep. It seems a universal trait amongst babies, when its time to sleep, doesn't matter where they are or in what position they can just drop off... Recieved some more photos of you laughing and giggling in the pool today, seems like you're developing into a little water baby. Was allocated a house today to set up for you and Mum so will toddle off and see what its like. I suspect it will need a bit of a clean up before Wednesday.. http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1136551132 Recieved some less than flattering photos of you in Granma and Grandad's pool today. Lookin a bit round and fat around the gills... well thats just the way you looked...! You can blame the photographer... Mum You seemed to have settled into a good routine up in Port Hedland and everyone is very impressed with your behaviour. Well don't get too settled and be forgetting who the main man is... Well Spunk #1 & #2, time for bed in hot humid wet Groote Eylandt. goodnite http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1136379727 Hey now, to travel all the way from Perth to Port Hedland on the big plane without so much as a grizzle, thats pretty good stuff. I'm not sure how much of that baby panadol formula mum gave you to zonk you out but whatever the case, you did well. But thats just a warm up - come next week you have about three flights in the space of 15hrs to manage on your way up to Groote Eylandt. I'd make you do it tomorrow if mum would let me but she's a bit soft and reckons you need a few days rest, and some time to get to know your Gran and Grandad. Just make sure you don't run out of smiles, sleep well http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1136296249 So what you been up to today...? Hopefully you've been on your best behaviour cos I'm guessing mum wouldn't been up to much today after her visit to the evil dentist. Yes Ellie, there are certain things in this world which you need to recognise as avoidable at all costs. Lets have a look at a simplified list.... dentists, drugs, bossy women (by the way, your mums not bossy), coca cola, easy answers, boys too cocksure of themselves, boys without spunk/pzazz, boys, any advice given from Uncle Gaz. Thats a start, we'll go into more detail when you're a little older http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1136203748 Its pretty hard to develop a relationship with your daughter when all you've got to go on is photos sent thru on your mobile phone... and the odd squeal delivered over the phone. I don't envy Jay having to do all the parenting on her own but then, rather that than being stuck thousands of miles away... Next time I'm going to hook up one of those laptop video cameras and sign up with Skype. This may be a small island paradise to some but, without Jay & Ellie, you can leave off the 'paradise' part http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1136033756 Christmas has come and gone and now New Year is about to pass - your first for both but you'll not know nor remember. So let me tell you how I will remember... Your first couple of months were a little challenging... crying, not sleeping... you had mum and I at odds as to what was the right way to remedy things. You were (are) the centre of attention although we have tried to do other things than just look after you. But inevitably it does come back to you and now that you're a few months older you have started responding vocally (not that anyone can understand you) and with some magical expressions. I am no wiser today as to how you will 'turn out', what sort of person you will be... But I do know that you have already enrichened our lives, beyond measure. Happy New Year Ellie, don't drink too much! http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1135940355 So you've got a small bump/bruise where your injections went in yesterday... c'mon Ellie you're gunna have to toughen up. And.. you gave your mother a hard time when it was time to go back to bed @ 5am this morning.. lucky I wasn't there!! Given your rapid rate of growth in the last few weeks it makes being away all the more difficult. I just hope our morning discussions on the phone keep me reasonably fresh in your mind.. Now behave yourself and don't play up for your mother! http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1135865220 Not that you would probably know Ellie, but I have left you for the sandy shores of Groote Eylandt. Paving the way for you and Mum to head up in a couple of weeks. I don't envy you the trip - it took me all of 15hrs to get here..! Ironically, for the main part of it I was stuck in the back row with all the parents with young children and infants. I must say, I experienced a dramatic change of heart as all the 'little ones' started screaming during landing and take off. Prior to you coming along, my proposal was to put all kids under four years of age in the cargo hold - a special little shute to stick them down as we come in to land. But today I was transfixed with the anguish showing on the faces of these children as they struggled with the intense pain in their ears that seemingly came from nowhere. It was a rude awakening to ... http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1135778777 Nuthin comes for nuthin. The new found personable animated Ellie comes with a small qualifier... she needs personal attention and lots of it..! Not that she wasn't getting a lot before but now there is no room for compromise. A rock in the rocker, a play on the floor with Eyore, a colourful mobile, nahh.. all of that just doesn't cut it anymore. Its all about being held, personally entertained by Mum or Dad. Its kinda comforting but I suspect it will wear thin pretty bloody quickly. I'm off up to Groote tomorrow, Jay and Ellie to join me in two weeks time. Its only for a four month stint but I suspect the longest part of that period will be the next two weeks. All I can say is, thank god I'm not doing flyin/flyout any more! http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1135693122 It is undoubtedly true that we perceive things differently in accordance with our state of mind at any given time. It is with this qualification that I make note of Ellie's development over the past few days. The qualifier is that she had indeed been almost angelic in her behaviour. Any grumpiness or hunger tantrums have been sparingly delivered, she has by in large been full of giggles and gurgles. It leads me to say that this is a significant step in her development. She seems to have taken this step from the confines of the first few months of life to a wakening, conscious world.. She has discovered the wonderment of her own voice, the conscious use of her own hand and facial expressions that seemingly reflect the way she is feeling. Its quite amazing, you feel so lucky to be part of ... http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1135603874 Now how much of Christmas do you remember..!?? Do you remember all the peoples places we went to.. the pressies that you were given... the arduous travelling between places? Well, in case you don't remember your first Christmas, you were great! Apart from the odd 'paddy' when it was near your sleep time, you were on your best behaviour. You smiled and gurgled your way thru your first Christmas and in so doing endeared yourself to everyone. And even when we reached our final destination, the house of bedlam at Auntie Heidi's, you were tired enough to go down and allow Mum and Dad a few quiet celebrations of our own. You are only three and three quarter months but you are so joyful - you made our first Christmas together so very special... http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1135447147 I've never been much of a Christmas man really. But of course this one is just a little different - it is Jay and I's first Christmas together as a family with Ellie. However, at four months old I'm not so sure that Ellie appreciates this wonderous occasion. She will be loved and cuddled and spoilt tomorrow just as much as any other day. In fact if anything, Christmas Day may prove to be a tad overpowering for her... we have a lot of travelling and meeting with friends to do which inevitably means a lot of baby handling, broken sleep patterns, a lot of noise... all of that without the joy of appreciating presents and all the stuff that makes Christmas so special for children. But who knows, perhaps you are born with a sense of Christmas... Sleep tight Ellie, its a big day tomorrow! http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1135346607 Back to normal. Whatever was ailing Ellie over the past few days seems to have gone. Her eating and sleeping habits have returned. An evident sign of her growing awareness of the things around her is the time spent between sleeps - a little longer and more challenging in terms of keeping her occupied. She demands more attention but provides so much more interaction in return. And thats enough interaction for today, time for an early night.. and a sleep-in in the morning. Please Ellie, please... http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1135266027 Now this has got to be a milestone. All these past weeks gooing and gargling at her, making her smile but getting no other response... but today.. yesss!!! We are talking major conversation here. Its absolutely amazing. Out of the blue Ellie has found her voice. Admittedly she has failed to repeat the word Daddy but she is so excited to engage in squeals, gurgles, tongue thingees... and this is in direct response to encouragement from us. Its facinating because of her direct response - she hears your voice, sees your expression and tries to mimic it, and then is so chuffed with herself when she comes out with something. She's gunna be a news reader, I can pick it! http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1135170282 Now you're not old enough to really know who I am, so it is understandable that you probably didn't miss me over the past two days. Which probably explains why you struggled to give me a look of recognition let alone a smile when I picked you up on my return this afternoon. But thats OK. It was good enough to hold you and have a cuddle and feel your warmth, and smell that milky baby smell again. It made a very stressful couple of days away almost worth the while. http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1135090157 Sorry to hear Ellie that you have been a bit crook during the day. You're probably just missing me - cos I'm sure missing you. Had a good look around your prospective new home today - an island in the gulf of carpenteria, just off Gove. Its got a nice feel about it. Perhaps a bit hot and sticky for you right now but I'm sure you'll adjust. There's good medical facilities on the island and lots of other kids for you to play with when you get a little older. But there are other things less positive and before Mum and I drag you all the way over here we'll need to have a review of things. And just in case you've forgotten, there's only five more sleeps til Christmas! http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1135004576 Its another late nite post and I'm a million miles away from Ellie... well Darwin seems that way. I have good reason to be up here (and will be for the next couple of nights), hopefully a new home for the three of us for the next few years. But I can't help but feel that good reason or not, Ellie doesn't know or care - she just keeps on growing and smiling, with or without me... Exchanging gurgles over the mobile phone doesn't quite make up for being there. I spose I could take a cup of 'toughen up' but I just don't feel like it - I like feeling this way. http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1134915313 All three of us out for the count tonite - a fairly social and travel filled 48 hours. Although Ellie was very tired and a little scratchy when she went down tonite, she has held up remarkably well. Probably better than her Mum and Dad. Mind you, I have good cause to be a little scratchy after having to accede to 'peer pressure' and commence a radical diet. Apparently, my chest and stomach profile is heading toward that of Ellie's (and Gaz's)... http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1134831733 Ellie, you've had a huge couple of days... Bunbury (lunch), Margaret River for Friday nite (Gaz & JCs), back to Mandurah and then to Pete's and Lyn's tonite... A couple of things... You have been sensational! Yes, you have had a few crying sessions in the car which has driven your mother to despair (and me..). But you have tolerated, nay enjoyed the changing routine and overload of new people so very very well. And secondly, you have grown (I know I have mentioned it before but..) before our very eyes... the way in which you grow, you just can't plan for it.. When you experience that sort of change it is very challenging. It makes you wonder how you can have much impact on things... I'll feel more confident tomorrow. I'll see you at 3.... http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1134658355 Its late Ellie, and... I've had a few vinos. And it would be easy to say that all my planning and scheming today has been around you. But truth be known, you are only part of it. Jay and I are pretty keen to build this country dream 'home', a place for us all to live and grow. Suffice to say, today we took another small step toward realising our ambition of building and living in the country. By the time you read this Ellie we will have a mature white gum tree standing proud in our driveway... You may not notice it cos it will be but one of many beautiful trees that adorn our property. And it will be OK if you take all of it for granted, in fact, I'd like nothing more http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1134563244 Let me have a look at this... by 4pm this afternoon Ellie had utilised 1150mls of formula milk. Not that she had drunk anywhere near that much... no, she just has this habit of assessing the size of bottle you have in your hand and then proceed to either 'under feed' or guzzle it down so as to require the heating of a second bottle - which she then turns her nose up at (can not be reheated so is consequently wasted). And then there was six nappy changes.. courtesy of her exquisite timing, ie holding on to soil the newly adorned nappy minutes within fitting it!! Now I don't want to put a dollar figure to the cost of this day but it is worthy to note in respect of future baby budgeting - Do Not Work Your Budget on Averages. That is to say; if a baby averages 700 ml of milk a day, you can factor in say, 1,200 ml to cover.... If they '... http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1134481419 There are some days where you experience a certain act, facial expression or such like which pronounces another growth milestone. But there are days like today when nothing much happens, no special feats achieved but you just get this feeling that she's growing... so very fast. Perhaps for the first time I reckon I could be in a lineup of ten guys and Ellie would be able to pick me out as Dad, the guy who looks after me (half the time). Ellie's attention span is still fairly short and revolves around a staple diet of formula milk, cuddles, baby talk (via Jay) and sleep - with the odd interlude of Winnie The Pooh stories. http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1134398457 There is something that I need to tell you Ellie... The person you are will always reflect in the people that you attract around you. And those people will accordingly feed you or feed from you. This is not something you need to try at, it just is http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1134308342 Thats how Sundays should be... Jay doing the housework, Ellie sleeping in accordance with her strict schedule (version #12) and me watching the golf on Telly. The more I think about it the more likely it is that Ellie might just become one of them professional golfers. She's got great balance - can keep her head from slopping side to side with no problems. Her timing is exquisite - try changing one of her nappies and you'll know what I mean. And her rhythm, smooth as... she's got her father's genes. And she'll have me to teach her the finer points of the swing. Mark my words, you will one day see Ellie J Townley on the leader board in the final round of the USAWPGA Tournament. And I might just be there to say, 'I told you so!' http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1134218416 It was bedlam in town this afternoon, everyone doing there Christmas shopping. Pushing Ellie around in a pram certainly didn't make things any easier. However, as difficult as it may have been for us it was as if Christmas had come early for her... Ellie revelled in all the activity, she'd never seen so many colours, movements or heard the noises of a down town shopping frenzy. She is getting to that point where she is very conscious of her environment and demanding to know more about it. All said and done she was very well behaved and has come home a very tired little girl, hopefully tired enough to sleep thru the nite. God knows that would be an early Christmas blessing. http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1134138732 Quite a significant advancement observed today in the 'trying to crawl' department. The one thing that is lagging is the arm action, ie hasn't quite mastered the art of lifting her body weight and launching herself forward. However, the leg action... she is ready to walk to the shops and back. Throughout her 'up time' she is discovering the power of her legs. Her progress in leg movement and support has taken quite a significant leap forward in the last 24hrs To anyone other than Mum and Dad it doesn't really mean a lot - the difference of a few extra centimetres, a few extra grunts & groans. It's funny how you begin to notice, nay rediscover, the little things.. http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1134047808 Not sure whether you'd call Hi Five 'culture' but it was Ellie's first concert experience today - Jay took her along with Heidi's tribe to the Burswood to watch the big show. Short lived though... kids playing up and Ellie grizzling, all too much and they ended up leaving after 15 minutes. Watched a news program on TV tonite where they showed a bloke who lost his wife shortly after she had given birth to their fifth child (other four under 5yrs of age). You've got to take your hat off to him... It showed him tending to the newborn whilst trying to juggle the needs & wants of the other very demanding four children. It kind of put things in perspective.. http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1133961413 Its not such a nice thing to acknowledge but, I feel a growing sense of ease in loving Ellie. I always figured that your love for your child was unqualified, unfettered, it was just, there. But I look back to only a week or so ago - it was damned hard going! And I am not saying that I loved Ellie any less, it was just that when she was so often so upset, it just made things difficult. We spent a lot of our time trying to soothe Ellie whereas now we spend that time in positive interaction. There is something else... the love that you feel back is so simple, so uncluttered. Its an embarrassing reflection on the complicated way in which we sometimes run our own lives. http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1133879214 A couple of observations... Firstly, today was quite an unbelieveably quiet and uneventful 'Ellie day'. That is to say, no unwarranted crying or grizzling (apart from the justifiable demand to be fed). Too early to say whether she has 'turned the corner' but a reassuring experience none the less. The other thing... I actually felt for the first time today that Ellie could recognise me more personally moreso than being just a 'carer'. I met Jay and Ellie in the Supermarket this afternoon and instantly recieved this look of recognition as I bent down to pick her up... well thats my reading of it anyway. A very rewarding day... http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1133794700 Now the question is, should we be singing the same lullaby to Ellie at bedtime. Not a biggie in the scheme of things but the question is one of, following routine. My humble argument is that the words and melody of the lullaby is of little importance, Ellie at this stage will only be able to recognize the tone of the voice… However, as I was launching into my defense I could see that I was not going to win… I am resolved to learn the words and harmony of, “Mama’s going to buy you a mocking bird…”. Destined to be a traumatic exercise for the both of us. http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1133692307 Back to a bit of normality after her sleep over at Auntie Heidi’s. She played up a bit last nite, not sure whether that is just the readjustment of being back home or whether she is stringing Mum & Dad along.. Now she didn’t utter her first words today, but.. she did repeat some gurgling noises from Jay which sounded awfully like words. Its just a joy to see the look of ‘accomplishment’ on her face when she comes out with this copy cat noise. After spending the afternoon out having coffee with Lester, Shez & Karen she is down and out for the count, a bit like her parents – its been a long weekend. http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1133617355 Both Jay and I attended our company Christmas party last nite - hence the non post. And Ellie had her first sleep over, at Aunty Heidi's. A couple of things were different when we dropped around to pick her up this morning. She is just that little bit more spunkier than when we left her... and I swear she is about one kilo heavier. She seems also to have found the magic of the television and moving pictures... even prefers it over her best friend Eeyore. Will have to address that cos am pretty keen to keep TV as a minor intervention. Most importantly, Ellie can count herself very lucky indeed to have such a loving and caring babysitter as Auntie Heidi http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1133449649 I think that I've spoken of it before.. daughters are just special special things - but the do not overide the daily crappy stuff. A not so good day at work today, usual nothing sort of stuff that so easily unsettles you... And unbeknowns to me Ellie had also had a pretty ordinary day. So when we met up... both keen to see each other but neither of us solved the others problems of the day But thats OK. Can not speak for Ellie but after a bit of time it does dawn on me that there are more important things in life than the silly stuff that so often unsettles you. Thankyou Ellie http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1133359500 Tough day at the office... long drive home... haven't seen Ellie since the morning.... she rises from a late afternoon nap soon after my arrival home. What a beautiful way to end the day. A wee chat and then a feed and a few more chats after that... and no crying.. It was nothing really special but then how can you 'specialise' a smile, a girgle. Its just a neat way to end the day. http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1133293883 Ellie seems to be getting quite strong willed. Perhaps one may even say, ‘stubborn..’ There is this sense that she knows what she wants and is now smart enough to know when she is being distracted or soothed away from it. And her first boyfriend… Eeyore the donkey. Ellie has this lifesize (to her) soft toy in the likeness of Eeyore from Winnie The Pooh. I accept that she will have limited vision at this stage of her development but Ellie is absolutely transfixed with this soft toy. Any manner of noises or antics from mum and dad will not break the spell…she can lie there for up to half an hour merrily talking to Eeyore. Well off to bed – looking for a five hour sleep this evening before our first feed…. http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1133193674 Both Jay and I spent the day at work and fortunate enough to have Auntie Heidi (from the house of bedlam) look after Ellie. Experienced this funny imbalance when we picked her up in the late afternoon. We were both hanging out to get a hold of our precious little girl. Even though she was in someone else's loving care, its just not the same... But you know, at this point in time, I'm not sure that Ellie can reciprocate the one on one feeling thing. We rocked up to find that Ellie was indeed 'satisfied'... she'd been fed, loved, cuddled, been put to bed, nothing was missing... You kinda felt like saying, '...well yeah, but we're your mum and dad, we love you more, we cuddle you more... do you think you could perhaps just recognise our specialniss...?" Ahh well, may as well get used to ... http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1133098140 Down on the south Perth foreshore this afternoon, Ellie won herself an army of new fans. Now I know this doesn't sound very nice, and after all, it could be pure coincidence, but... There were several groups of people lazing around the foreshore banks, some imbibing in the odd wine or two, most with some form of picnic or bbq food. And as you might expect on a hot western australian afternoon, there was the usual allotment of flies... One of the first things we did as we lay Ellie down on her little blanket was undress her, removing her soiled nappy. Within minutes we were visited by a few enquiring flies. By the time we had ordered and received our coffees we had monopolised the total fly population on the foreshore! Suffice to say it was a short coffee break and as we left I sensed a feeling of gratitude from the local http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1133014500 A nothing day today really. A quiet Saturday afternoon watching golf and cricket with just a little bit of work thrown in. Had planned to take Ellie out for an afternoon stroll down to the marina but she decided that she would have an extended sleep around lunchtime so that canned that idea. She did however reach a small milestone later in the afternoon... she found that by pushing herself up on one arm (from facing belly down) she could roll over to be on her back. She did this on two occasions and cried in shock horror both times. She's a delicate wee soul is Ellie http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1132926802 Like any selfish individual, I sometimes wonder just how much of me it is that Ellie feels, appreciates, loves... Throughout the day you receive any number of smiles and looks of comfort. You get the finger squeeze/clutch... the sorts of things that tell you, '..yes, she does understand who I am....' But when is it actually that she will understand me as a person, as her dad...? I shouldn't be in such a hurry. The faster you go, the less you learn. http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1132839610 Bathing time has always been a bit of a challenge with Ellie. I know of the theory that states that babies love to have a bath, it soothes them... it reminds them of being in the womb etc etc. Well Ellie has never followed those rules and has continued to be affronted with the notion that mum & dad should ever engage her in such death defying stunts as a routine bath. So given her abhorrence of the simple bath it would stand to reason that showering would most definitely be out of the question. But not so. Jay introduced her to the shower this evening and she showed just what a contrarian she can be. Never been happier! Dip her head under the water... no problem, give me more!! 'Logic' and 'parenting' are seemingly two incompatible ... http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1132753942 They seemed such inconsequential decisions at the time. Firstly the decision to have air con units in both the bedroom and the lounge or, simply the one unit in the lounge - and of course economics ruled that we'd have only the one air con in the lounge. Then of course - do we get the 3.0hp one or the 2.5hp. Again money ruled, we purchased the smaller of the two. The outcome.... Ellie is in a deep slumber in her cot in our bedroom courtesy of being just at the right cool temperature. Her parents spend the evening huddled together watching tele dressed in three layers of clothing in near freezing conditions in the lounge. Its those silly inconsequential decisions that catch ya out..! http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1132665683 Now that Ellie has seemingly overcome her colic we have decided to embark upon a new sleeping regime. The programme is designed and implemented locally here in Perth. The Lullababy programme is a set of simple 'rules' designed to give bub a framework of sleeping and feeding to work to. The outcome in broad terms... move from two hourly feeds during the night to a solid ten hour sleep... larger but fewer feeds during the day. There's a few other things you've gotta do so tomorrow morning we shall commence the new programme and see how it all goes. It wont happen over night, but it will happen... I'm confident http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1132580992 So we had some semblance of a plan today... Ellie went down to sleep pretty well. It was just the 'up time' that was a bit of a struggle. Uncharactoristically she had a very short attention span. We could keep the tears and crying at bay so long as we were in 'intensive care mode', ie she was very clingy, needed to be entertained all the time...otherwise the dummy was spat. Hard to say what it was... could have been a bit of constipation or a return of the dreaded colic... she didn't have a fever so who knows...? Have noted that the warm temperatures tend to keep her from falling into a deep sleep and perhaps that has compounded her discomfort today. All in all, not a bad day http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1132493613 Now not often Ellie you'd be knocked off the front page of the diary but then, its not everyday that you are blessed with two new cousins. Yes Ellie, born ten weeks premature you have two new friends - Noah & Harrison, born to Gayle (my sister) and Lance back in Auckland, New Zealand. As you might appreciate, they have a bit of a battle on their hands but it seems that they're pretty keen to make the grade.. they're doing very well. They were half your size when they were born so you can imagine just how tiny they were. And just like you Ellie, they are unique, you'll get to meet them one day... http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1132493512 Now not often Ellie you'd be knocked off the front page of the diary but then, its not everyday that you are blessed with two new cousins. Yes Ellie, born ten weeks premature you have two new friends - Noah & Harrison Cat, born to Gayle (my sister) and Lance back in Auckland, New Zealand. As you might appreciate, they have a bit of a battle on their hands but it seems that they're pretty keen to make the grade.. they're doing very well. They were half your size when they were born so you can image just how tiny they were. And just like you Ellie, they are unique, you'll get to meet them one day... http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1132411762 Not much to say tonite. You just wish sometimes life remained as simple and straightforward as Ellie sees it... Cry when you want to be fed, smile when you want a cuddle http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1132319894 Its days like today that you want to frame. Full of sleep, feeding and play - and no crying or griping. Kinda like what you read about, just a wonderful day. I write this with some hesitation. Jay tells me that the immunisation injections have one of two sorts of effects. It either makes bub cranky and upset for a few days or conversely, lethargic for the same period of time. Well who knows, but today was pretty special... http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1132233007 It doesn't look much but when you think comparitively you begin to appreciate the size of the immunisation needle that Ellie had to accept this morning. Not one but two giant size needles. The needle itself was about half the length of her thigh...!! Now admittedly she did let go a squeal and a half when it went in, and then cried solidly for the next 15 minutes, and then sobbed incessantly in self pity for another hour but hey: two giant size needles injected into your thigh without so much as an explanation why... wouldn't you have something to say..!? No, I'm thinkin tough, she is one tough cookie. Can't wait to get to the ladies coffee hour to tell'm about this... http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1132146695 Nothing beats a leisurely trip down to the local shopping centre with Ellie in the pram (stroller, whatever). The thing is, the fresh air is a bit of a sedative for her - more often than not she is out for the count within minutes of heading off... That is until she actually arrives at a destination, in this case the local newsagent. And as you would have it, there's a queue a mile long.. (I tell ya, the amount of people that buy Lotto tickets...). There was only the one young girl on the till and I was beginning to feel sorry for her - until Ellie decided to wake up. You can read them all like a cheap novel... first the glance of understanding.... then the look of genuine concern... then, inevitably, "whatever, but get rid of that screamin kid will ya..?!! I slipped the guy in front of me two dollars for the paper and ... http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1132060333 Of course as they get older, like older than say, two months, you've got to start gauging progress in more abstract forms other than just weight, height, girth etc. Ahh yeah... I mean you're nothing in the local mothers coffee club if you can't talk in terms of; number of smirks/giggles per day, amount of bubble blowing, number of squeals (as opposed to the much maligned squawk), the degree of direct eye contact... the meaningful grasp... Its a language and system of classification all of its own. But you know - you really can't fail. No one is going to call you out and contest what or how you report progress. Its like appraising abstract art, people just smile and nod approvingly... http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1131975360 14th November... Ellie is two months (older), her parents are more like two years older... http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1131882936 Sometimes you don't even know what you've done right to get this angelic sort of behaviour happening - as in for the most part of this weekend whilst visiting friends in Margaret River. Seemingly you haven't done anything different - the "schedule" hasn't been altered in any way... Equally, you don't know what you've done out of the ordinary to get a complete reverse in behaviour, as in tonite. There seems such a subtle balance of factors inter-acting in all of this that really, you've just got no show. Make no assumptions, take no learnings from one day to the next, just do your best each day and accept the outcome. Perhaps tomorrow I shall revisit this latest logic but for now, thats how I feel http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1131809951 What used to be a simple spur of the moment decision to head down south to margaret river is now a major project demanding three or four weeks of strategic planning. But you know, once you're down here, its all worth it. Ellie, for some inexplicable reason is on her best behaviour, Gaz & JCs place is.... well, it really is a slice of heaven. But more importantly, I realised something... I'm one of Ellie's primary teachers (by default) - but she ought not to come out to watch Daddy play Gaz at golf. It would be very difficult for her to reconcile my teachings in the face of such childish behaviour of two vehemently competitive charactors as Gaz and myself. Its going to be difficult to explain to Ellie that at that particular moment in time... nothing ranks higher in the world than having two strokes less on your scorecard ... http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1131715863 Wasn't much of a day for learning today. In fact, we spent most of the day going over stuff which Ellie is already very good at... just staying up for the sake of it. Jay has frowned on my latest plan.... take a holiday to Bali, load Ellie's baby bag up with several kilos of hashish and then begrudgingly accept the probable outcome - Ellie to receive 15yrs for drug smuggling. With good behaviour she would be out in twelve, bilingual, tanned and over her colic and sleeping problems... Sometimes you've just got to think outside the square http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1131631022 Now the question is... how far do you go in developing/teaching your baby? How advanced do you want her to be..? There is this subconcious drive to push your child to outperform. "...oh thats interesting... your son had his milk teeth at 14 months... thats good..... yeah, our daughter was born with her milk teeth. Crawling at ten months, you must have been thrilled... yes, we missed the crawling stage, she went straight to walking...." Its a fine balance. When to push and when to stand back and let things happen. And at the tender age of two months one might dismiss such concerns as a little premature. But one suspects that if you start getting it wrong early on in the piece you're setting yourself up to get it wrong further down the track. Ahh well, spose I can put the walking frame back in the cupboard for a few ... http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1131545419 Just in case you figure you're on top of things, like you know... you figure out what is upsetting her.. You have a day like today, trouble free. What a beautiful day. Its the kind of day that fits in with some of my original planning... where things happen as planned. Ellie sleeps, she wakes up after three and a half hours of sound sleep, she feeds, she plays for a while and smiles... then she sleeps for another few hours, then feed, play, sleep... But no worries - I'm wise to these sorts of tactics. I haven't been lulled into a false sense of security. Tomorrow will bring what it may, but today... what a beautiful, beautiful day. http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1131458553 Ellie achieved a bit of a world record for a two month old today (I'd expect so..) - up for eight of the twelve daylight hours... But the Doc didn't seem perturbed by this little accomplishment. In her two monthly visit he gave her the green light. "...she's a bouncing baby alright ..." And you think..."...are you callin my daughter fat...!!?" http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1131375849 Our first day away together, well not away... we both went in and clocked up a day at work (the work that pays money). You can only drop Ellie off at Aunty's and kind of hope that everthing is going to be OK.. There were two problems. Firstly, how to get over our own guilt - would have been as easy to leave her down stairs in the car park and deal with the more tangible feelings of guilt. And then there was the unspoken question: how will she handle being away from us for a whole day..? Certainly the second question was answered emphatically - she's never been on better behaviour. Slept, fed and played in accordance with a schedule that she has previously denied... You gotta ask yourself, who's callin the shots here..!? http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1131285904 A quiet Sunday... only interrupted by Ellie's colic cries. It wasn't too bad really and things seem to be getting better on that front but definately it looks as if we have some way to go before we're over this particular hurdle. Fitted in a trip to Freo. Ellie seemed quite impressed with all the colour and noise. She certainly is full of expression, able to take in more of her environment... Had a grim preview of what may be infront of us whilst walking down to the Esplanade - a middle aged couple dragging their screaming three or four year old down the street. She was determined in going one direction, they in the other. You saw this glimpse of defiant determination by the wee girl and one of gritty resolve by the parents... scary scary ... http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1131200970 Its hard to work out sometimes. Your own logic tells you that the best place/way to keep your bub quiet and content is to have her in a familiar and quiet environment. And yet today, Ellie not only settled well in the House of Bedlam (Aunty Heidi/Uncle Rod) but then, at a gathering at a good friend's 60th where the music was loud, the lights bright and everyone wanting a hold... she was on her 'bestest behaviour'. Offering out smiles and giggles all over the place. She has her own agenda, one I'm not sure I'll ever work out... http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1131113743 You try and grab an extra 5 mins till the clock hits 6.30am, after all it was only an hour ago that you did the last feed. A quick play and then the reheat of a bottle and then feed, a rock to sleep which lasts only 30 mins, a feed, a play, a cry, a rock to sleep, a 30 min sleep then a crying alert... You try and squeeze in a few domestic chores - scrub the shower, the washing & folding, a bit of homework (office work), the odd phone call.. all fitted within the schedule posted above. Depending on the outcome of a lot of little things, it can determine the subtle difference between a good day and a bad day... Such is the life of a stay at home dad. http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1131025428 yeah, had to go for the standard six weekly checkup today. Nothing out of the ordinary, the local community nurse just has to check the basics and compare against the 'norm' for bubs of similar age. A summary of the key data as follows; Length: was a tad short, now smack on normal Weight: normal but perfectly proportioned Looks: best looking six week old ever recorded in the clinic Vocal Chords: Over developed Its so hard to be humble... http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1130938398 Trialled the 'Fremantle Sling' today - bit like an arm sling and designed to hold your baby snugly and secure in a sling pouch. Ellie and I went for a stroll down to the local shopping centre, only to get a few essentials. But it was quite fascinating once we got inside the supermarket. She had her head perched up so that she could have a good view of everything going on around her. All of a sudden she was bombarded with this plethora of sights & smells... her eyes were popping out of her head!! It makes you wonder... I mean, you'll never see that unbridled energy for learning in adults. She had this concerned look on her face as if, "..hey, how come no one told me about all this stuff before..??!! What's going down!??" Its a gently reminder; we need to rekindle our own sense of learning if we have any hope of ... http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1130854966 Damned foolish to voice your dearest hopes but... well we may have seen the last of the bad colic sessions. The community nurse (and a few other people) said early on that colic most often clears up after the first six weeks. I guess subconciously we have been holding on to that vain hope. And today... six weeks one day after Ellie's birth - a beautiful calm day and nite (!!!??!). Now there were a few short periods where Ellie showed signs of abdominal pain but no where near what it has been like. Go to bed quietly, say nothing, take tomorrow as it comes... http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1130767428 I'm rockin the innocent Ellie to sleep in the semi darkness of the bedroom, not looking directly down cos apparently you are supposed to avoid eye contact at bed time. But I had this suspicion that I was being taken for a ride. So whilst I was maintaining this air of disinterest I was sneakily looking down and out of the corner of my eye. And as I suspected...!!! Yes, I caught the half eye open trick checking that Dad is still there holding you... yeah pretending to fall asleep in my arms but secretly just waiting... waiting til I'm dumb enough to think that you're in a deep sleep, put you down and whammo! Instantly awake!! That is a sneaky sneaky trick... but thats OK, I've got a few of my own. Like not having a Christmas tree this year - I'll take a photo of the one down at the shopping mall and put that in your album, you'll be http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1130678213 There's no two ways about it - the person who dreamed up Winnie the Pooh and all his friends had something special about him/her. Have been reading to Ellie from one of Winnie's many story books (thanks Gaz & JC), it is just such a wonderful dialogue. And I guess what makes it even more realistic is the subconcious overlay of the voices from the TV series. The voices, the music and the background sound of nature... how did they get everything so right..? In between stories I had time to perform a minor operation on Ellie. I gently pulled off a hanging toe nail.... and drew blood. Jay is not talking to me courtesy of this historic moment. http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1130604499 Aunty Rach and Uncle Phil... Ellie must begin to wonder if she has any normal relatives. Great night out but felt the pressure of having our evening dictated by Ellie. She had her usual colic problems between 6pm - 9.30 and it threatened to dominate the proceedings. Ellie of course has no understanding of social etiquette and can but express her discomfort/pain in the only way she knows how. Theres a part of me that feels frustrated/exasperated with the restrictions that it places on us, a part of me that shares the pain that Ellie feels... and a growing part of me that feels no where near in control. But for the strength of Jay, where would we be... http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1130515156 Have been spending a few hours at work recently so my time with Ellie in the afternoon and evening is all the more precious.... well of late, all the more frustrating. She is routinely unsettled from around 6pm thru to eleven or twelve at night. It seems to have got worse over the last couple of days - mind you, that might just be fatigue setting in... Whatever the case, she always manages to throw you with a heart stopping smile - it kinda makes you wonder whether she's taking the mickey. Ah well, thats OK http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1130424944 Something I can't understand - this business of entering your child into contests like, 'Most Beautiful Infant Under 6 Months'. I met a mum today with her young bub, enthusiastically confirming the obvious diagnosis - this baby was so especially beautiful that she was destined to have her photograph entered into the local 'beautiful baby' contest. Now I'm no judge and admittedly leave myself a tad open having a web page dedicated to Ellie but... for the life of me I can not see the logic in such a contest. Is it a need to express our own needs/wants/desires through our children, and if so, when does that stop? I must admit, I do see myself walking up the 18th fairway at St Andrews one day, the proud caddy of the new Ladies British Open winner... c'mon Ellie, you can do it!! http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1130336312 A good day but figure we're heading into not such a good nite... early days with the new plan and will avoid making any early judgement as to its overall success... Ellie's 'uptime' is certainly becoming more interactive and rewarding. More smiles and more gestures. Yep, its not the quality of the 'uptime' - its the amount of it..!! http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1130247692 You wouldn't believe it...!! We've been exposed to yet another literary masterpiece on the business of raising babies. So now, the suggestion is that we really do need to respond to Ellies constant cry for attention. I have reluctantly acquiesced to this latest theory, for no better reason than Ellie simply has not responded to the 'tough love' approach. That is to say, leave her there to cry herself to sleep and that is exactly what she'll do - for at least an hour or more... And which ever way you look at it, that can't be right. So today was quite different - everytime she cried (or even looked like it) we were there to pick her up and soothe her. It kind of worked - I just sure hope Ellie hasn't any expectations for a similar performance throughout the night. In desperate need for more batteries... http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1130162626 Nothing special today. Nothing to note but a conscious thought... She really is growing before our eyes. http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1130077147 To add to our sleeping whoes Ellie has caught a bit of a sniffle. Her nose gets pretty well blocked with mucas and you can hear her thru the night trying to breath through it. Its quite amazing how you can't just blow her nose for her.. she simply doesn't understand what is going on.. Got some saline drips from the chemist which seems to help a bit. And Jay assisted in removal of some of the mucassy stuff by the delicate insertion of her fingernail... My suggestion was that the smallest and most 'tailor made' appendage for the operation was Ellies own little pinky. Didn't get much support for that idea. Also got the vapouriser thingmabob working with some vicks liquid drops. It seems pretty effective but wonder if the whole sauna thing isn't a little over-powering for Ellie. Well, gotta go, my next ... http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1129992761 Pretty active day today with a visit into town, looking around a few inner city apartments (actually buying one). Ellie was on her best behaviour - one might be so bold as to suggest that she is responding to her latest feeding/sleeping schedule... However, I've wisened up enough to know that her return volley has a lot more sting in it than the original delivery. And bathing is still an issue. One would expect that the warm soothing effect of scented bath water would placate the most agitated young bub, but not so for Ellie. She holds on to your arm for dear life with a stealed grimace, her eyes bulging waiting for the inevitable catastrophe....and then when nothing happens she bursts into tears anyway, as if justifying her original fears!? She'll have a lot of explaining to do when she can talk. http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1129904648 You can never be sure about these things but I reckon we got our first real smile this morning. Ellie has smiled often enough but they reckon that such smiles are related to wind... that is to say, we mistake the grimace of trying to bring up wind with the expression of smiling. But this morning, she had brought up wind and was laying back on my legs (in bed) having a good look around and there was no mistaking it - she smiled (to her Mum!!). Such a simple gesture but so inexplicably exciting. Mind you, the thought of four consecutive hours sleep presents more excitement than I could handle right now... http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1129816368 Indulged in some day dreaming today. Couldn't help but wonder as I drove past a group of young girls heading off to school... they just seemed so bereft of pzazz, inspiration. It seemed as if they were already heavily burdened with the trials and tribulations of adulthood. Admittedly, given that mine was but a glimpse as I drove past it was a fairly poetic if not loose observation. In soothing my concerns for Ellie's future I consulted Kahlil Gibran's chapter in the Prophet on children, where he wrote; "You may give them your love but not your thoughts, for they have their own thoughts... You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.." There's a lot to read into those words - I just hope that Ellie retains the spirit of youth for as long as she possibly can. http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1129732943 Got it sussed. You see, what you do when you want some respite, you just drop Ellie off at her Auntie's. The logic is pretty straight forward - you've got a deprived dwarf cat currently on heat, a scatter brained slipper of a dog partnered with a fat attention-seeking dog, three very loud and active young boys under the age of six... Ellie's crying all of a sudden becomes just one component of many in the house of bedlam. And then when you go to pick her up in the early evening you find that Ellie has resigned herself to the fact that she is just not getting a look in... she's fallen asleep in disgust. Ahh, don't you just love it!! http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1129646138 The question is... where are you when the Original Plan has failed, the Transition Plan has had no impact and the Reserve Plan has been ignored...? A lesser man would accept his defeat gracefully... Ellie has maintained her own schedule of being OK during the day but completely unmanageable between 6pm and 10pm. Rather than react immediately I'm thinkin that we should just wait and see... The natural workings of things suggests that Ellie will work this out for herself - there's gotta be a better way http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1129558834 Its amazing how guilty a crying baby can make you feel. We had a knock on the door just after dinner tonite and I swear my first thought was that we'd scored a visit from the local health nurse... responding to a complaint about child abuse. What else could explain such incessant loud crying... A bit of an anti climax, it was our neighbour dropping in for a friendly chat. Actually, the more I think about it the more I'm tempted to dob Ellie in for parental abuse... it looks like another long night. There's joy amidst all of this, somewhere... http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1129472583 I rang the big red bell at the counter a couple of times. You couldn't hear it but I trusted that it would be ringing in the nursing reception that you could vaguely see thru the corridor. An officious looking lady wearing the right gear came to the counter and asked, "how can I help..?" I replied explaining that although we were first time parents we figured that this level of crying for our four week old daughter was out of the ordinary - we weren't just doing a first time parent panic... However, she interrupted me mid stream and said, "where is she... well, bring her in from the car..!" I replied quite indignantly, "...I'm trying to explain to you, this isn't just parents over reacting, please understand..." She measured and returned my stare and quietly reassured me, "...there are ... http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1129387912 sometimes... Jay, Ellie, good friends and a couple of good wines... thats all you need Sometimes you feel so lucky http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1129295033 Not a lot to enter today. Ellie very unhappy, parents very tired... http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1129212416 The Reserve Plan is the plan you have when the first plan has failed and the transition plan has had no impact.. Fuelled with additional research I am now of the opinion that the first two plans were fundamentally flawed. My (new) understanding is that over-tiredness in infants has the reverse effect as it does in adults. That is to say, the more tired a young bub becomes the more difficult it is to settle them down to sleep. So the 'Uptime' that I had scheduled for Ellie was for all intents and purposes the very catalyst for so much of the unsettled sleeping pattern. Another theory, another plan. I remain confident... http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1129126453 There was this belief, naive perhaps, that the blessing of parenthood would somehow wash away all the frustrating stuff in life. But it is not the case. Today delivered an endless series of innocuous but none the less, irritating incidents which kind of caught me off guard. I got home full of expectations that Ellie would somehow make all the angst disappear. But alas, Ellie too had had a bit of a frustrating day - who knows why - and was in no mood to soothe my ruffled feathers. And to top it off... my red wine smells like dirty nappies. Perhaps pschycological but I ain't finishing it... I'm going to bed - there are some days you've just got to nod in acceptance, and go quietly to bed. http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1129041549 It may be the observations of an over indulgent father but Ellie is becoming noticably more alert and responsive to her surroundings, almost on an hourly basis - well that's what it seems like... In the midst of a battle of wills over whose routine we will be following, there are odd periods of truce when she opens those big saucer eyes, puckers her lips.. and its game over! She has what one might say is the unfair advantage of complete and unqualified innocence. Damned unfair when you're trying to implement an objective plan. http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1128953282 Had a wee talk with Ellie this afternoon about what she thinks of the new schedule. She seemed quite impressed with all the bright colours - green for sleep, yellow for 'uptime' and red for feeding. Admittedly it was at a point where yellow time had started creeping into the green time... so much so that by the time she commenced her green time we'd all but encroached on the red zone. And of course, red time can not be compromised which meant that when we started feeding we'd had very little green time which inevitably lead us into a very grizzly yellow time which, according to the plan, should have been green... One of us is very slow at picking things up. http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1128864861 Fortunately, when my original plan was challenged I was able to revert to plan B fairly quickly... basically eat, sleep and play in accordance with Ellie's variable timetable! However, it is now time to re-negotiate our way back to the original plan... I have sellotaped a colour coded schedule onto the kitchen buffet top as a visual reminder of where we are heading 0600hrs: Feed 0700hrs: Uptime 0900hrs: Feed 1000hrs: Sleep 1300hrs: Feed 1400hrs: UpTime 1700hrs: Feed 1800hrs: Sleep 2100hrs: Feed 2200hrs: Sleep 0100hrs: Feed 0200hrs: Sleep Fail to plan then you plan to fail! I'm anticipating a couple of days for the new schedule to fall into place. http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1128784995 Pretty cruisy day today but what made it just that little longer was the 4am start. Tried to get our heads down for a late afternoon nap but Ellie wasn't very supportive of that idea... And she learnt a new trick today - how to really make Daddy happy: wait till he's removed the dirty nappy and then whilst he's playing bicycle pumps with your legs and as he places the clean nappy underneath, let go with both barrels... no. 1s and no. 2s!! Beeeautiful!! And don't tell me that wasn't a little smirk on your face there... http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1128696905 In accordance with my master plan we are continuing as much as possible to maintain our hitherto active social calender. And in visiting good friends this evening for a meal and some cheap red wines we discovered a special guardian for Ellie. Lachie is one of these small white haired dogs that have fantastic breeding but in all said and done are essentially rug rats with little appeal (to someone who has an undying passion for a large dog companion). But tonite was Lachie's night - he demonstrated a show of compassion which leaves you speechless.... Any time that Ellie whimpered, cried or even thought about being unhappy, Lachie was there. standing over her asking the question, "Whats up...? What can I do..? I can't stand it when you're unhappy..." He'd leap up onto the sofa when she was burping up wind, rush over to her ... http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1128609201 I knew I shouldn't have thrown that old belly button away... Ellie is weeping a little bit from her new belly button and although this would appear reasonably normal, we will take her in tomorrow just to check it out. Its interesting - you don't want to become one of those over the top parents that panic at every little variation to the norm. You wonder when sitting in a pediatricians waiting room surrounded by screaming babies..."how many of you here have legitimate concerns..?" Perhaps they should introduce an escalating charge-out rate - the less serious the condition the more one pays... it would add an interesting dynamic to the role of parenting. http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1128522279 As soon as we walked into the busy restaurant carrying Ellie in her little portable papouse I had this flashback. I thought to myself, "...how ironic. I know exactly what is going through these peoples minds. I mean, how many times have I muttered to myself when I see parents walk into a restaurant (or worse, airplane) with baby in tow - 'you selfish buggers, can't you see that we're all here for a peaceful evening out..!'" As it happened we had a wonderful night with only a few minor Ellie interuptions. It was only toward the end when she figured that everyone had eaten other than her that she duly let us know. I felt a tinge of embarrassment as we tactfully departed amidst the raucous howling, wondering whether indeed we should apologise for being such selfish buggers. its a tricky old world sometimes.. http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1128418333 I'm not sure whether this is a milestone, or a celebration... or indeed something you just keep to yourself. But Ellie lost her belly button today. Alright..!! Ellie seems to have taken it in her stride, not too fussed at all really. Hard to say whether it has effected her balance since she isn't standing yet. Anyway, we're outa here. Off to celebrate this landmark event. Jay, Ellie, me and a couple of good friends down to the local restaurant for a good Italian. http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1128347449 You've gotta wonder sometimes... We had visitors throughout the day. And we're talkin about the most angelic behaviour you could possibly imagine - from first thing in the morning til very late in the afternoon. There was consensus by one and all what a beautifully calm little girl we have. When we closed the door behind our final visitor for the day we looked at each other and mutually agreed, "..the colic days are behind us, this is easy street!" Whooa up super dad! I've got news for you!! I swear Brucie hadn't even got out of the drive before the wailing started. And to top it off Ellie greeted my soothing back rub with one of those 'power chucks' that reached all the way over to the neighbouring sofa with just enough left over to dribble down the back of my neck... beeautiful The beginning of a long nite... http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1128242649 There was a lot that happened in the world, this first day of October 2005. Not least of all the late breaking news of some more horrendous bomb blasts in Bali. But none of it has any relevance to Ellie - and a lot less meaning to Jay and I for now. I am quite sure that as time goes on our lives will head toward a more normal balance (and of course the term 'normal' remains undefined..). But for now, all things get ranked behind the needs and wants of little Ellie. And she has just announced that it is her dinner time - and woe betide anyone who gets in the way of her feeding schedule.... http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1128145561 When Ellie was only three days old I returned to the maternity hospital in the afternoon to find Jay asleep in bed, and no Ellie... I naturally went on an immediate search and rescue and found one of the nurses wheeling this portable baby crib down the corridor. I looked into the crib and there was this beautiful wee dark haired girl... I started cooing over her and advising the nurse just how particularly spunky she was... for the nurse to look at me knowingly and say, "you must be Mr Davis..?" "Well actually no I'm not and I guess this little baby doesn't go by the name of Ellie either...?" It took me a while to get over the embarrassment and the humble realisation that I had mistaken someone elses baby as mine. I offer this confession because in coming home from being away for four and a half days its ... http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1128048181 Life is full of simple pleasures. Mum and Ellie had a good nite last nite - only two feeding breaks and not too much grizzzling... I had a good nite's sleep in my transportable shack in the middle of nowhere and am looking out at a clear blue sky waiting for a small plane to pick me up and take me home - give me the simple life. http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1127959604 Previously only a term that I was vaguely familiar with and loosely associated with crying babies. But our local visiting nurse has diagnosed little Ellie with the dreaded colic (apparently 'parents nightmare')... I guess it is a blessing in the sense that it is not a disease as such but a temporary 'condition'. Although the nurse provided a clinical definition of the term 'colic', it seems from my own research (via google) that there is no actual consensus as to what colic is. Search ten different sites/articles and you will generally get that many different perspectives - quite amazing given the prevalence of so called colic among new born babies. This is the longest four days of my life http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1127860677 Just a gentle musing given that I am still away from home and counting the hours til Friday I found myself answering to Ellie today. Now she can't speak but she does demand all of your love - to the extent that you can't (nor do you want to) fob her off with a 'make do' cuddle. No, you just need to shed all the shite of the day and feel the simple love of holding onto her. But therein lies the anomaly. Very few are the days that you come home from work entirely at peace with yourself. Our adult partners understand and accept these varying moods, but of course Ellie has no idea... other than how much real love she is receiving at that moment. Thats the problem when you're away, too much thinking time... http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1127773278 I didn't plan on being away from home for four days - but then so far not a lot has been actually going to plan... To ring up and hear her crying in the background is the most helpless feeling. I know that she will have just as many loves and cuddles without me (she's a tad spoilt) but it doesn't help... http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1127717744 This sounds a bit dumb now that I recount it but... Last night we took a slightly different perspective on things. What made the last couple of nights so exasperating, apart from the lack of sleep, was the unspoken contest that had evolved. Ellie Vs Us, the all knowing loving parents. Anxious to establish a 'fair and logical routine' of sleeping and feeding I subconciously contested Ellie's perspective on things... Whether she liked it or not, we would be proceeding with my plan (!!) But last night, I don't know why - probably dropped my guard thru fatigue - we simply followed what Ellie wanted to do. Now admittedly she ended up having a feed every couple of hours but... without the tears and drama. It was a matter of, "hey I'm up and I'm lookin for the creamy stuff.... beeautiful! Thankyou, I'm ready for sleep now..." http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1127619844 I suppose if I had the benefit of experience or hindsight I might be able to say, 'everything going as normal..' However, without that luxury it is hard to know where you are on the scale of 'normal' Ellie seems to have her days mixed up with her nights and is happy to have a 2 or 3 hour kip during the day but not so during the night. Having said that, she'll go to sleep anywhere that she's not sposed to... on my chest, in mum's arms, on the bed - no problem. But put her in her basinet and you've got 15 mins of tranquillity tops. The frustration after two sleepless nights is quite tangible. If you weren't so gorgeous... http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1127530277 Riiigghht...! So thats what they mean when they say, 'sleepless nights..' Ellies first night at home. Things went pretty well, even according to plan till around 9pm. She was pretty nightmarish from there on in. See in the books they don't actually detail what they mean by 'sleepless nights'. My naive understanding was that we were looking at say four hours sleep instead of six or seven (no problem). However, it has nothing to do with the total amount of hours but everything to do with the number of consecutive hours of sleep. Went to bed at 10.15pm and by 9am must have clocked up all of an hour, perhaps an hour an a half of sleep. But I can track this down to a lack of planning. By this evening she will have an A3 colour coded feeding/sleeping schedule posted above her ... http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1127425691 Yesss!!! Don’t you just love it when a plan comes together..!? Fresh from yesterdays defeat I returned to the fray with renewed vigour. And did I lay it on the line…!!?! I said to her, “hey let bygones be bygones but you need to know who’s boss around here”. (I paused for a little effect… I think she picked up on the drama of the occasion) I didn’t get a lot of response but importantly there was a lot less crying and a lot more feeding. And so gracious in defeat, falling asleep on my chest…. I gotta tell ya, there is magic at work here. http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1127346567 One nil to Ellie..!! So after about one hours sleep and then say 20 seconds crying I stole a glance toward Jay and reminded her of the PLAN. "....remember, routine feeding is the key! We don't feed her just cos she thinks she might want a suckle..." 30 seconds of crying... "No, we need to stick to our plan. We must establish routine feeding, our routine not hers" 45 seconds of crying... "Thats enough Ellie! You're not getting fed..!!" Still crying "OK......come here you gorgeous little thing, who cares about routine anyway....but I want you to know, this will not be happening again!!" One nil to Ellie http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1127254600 I think I've pretty well sussed it out. She sleeps most of the time and then when she first wakes up she thinks, "...I'm awake... I must be hungry..." and of course she tells you the only way she knows - she's got her mother's voice box (only joshing mum). But then she figures, "..mm, I feel quite snug and secure, recognise that smell and that heartbeat, mm things must be OK, perhaps I don't need to scream after all..." So another few blissful minutes wrapped up in dad's arms until the overwhelming hunger kicks in and she's off and racing! And she has no vanity..!? Doesn't even blink an eye when I change her nappies in front of people she has never met. Ahh, its a simple life for little Ellie Jessicca http://diaryoffatherhood.com/cgi-bin/blog/index.cgi?mode=viewone&blog=1127167110 You will always be beautiful to me. I have no doubt that as time goes on, and as everyone reminds us - you will test us, to the very core. I have no idea what to expect but I promise I will always hold onto the feeling that you gave us when you were dragged out kicking and screaming. You are the most beautiful thing... Just in case you want to know, you are an unbelieveably gorgeous little girl. A little podgy coming in at 7lb 12oz and not that tall - 47cm (I blame that on your mother... also your good looks) And in case I need any brownie points down the track some time, I want you to know - it was me who did your first nappy change! God, I wish I could breast feed!